Posts (page 2)

At 6:20 this morning Irish left to go to Atlanta for some work stuff.  He'll be back Friday night.  It's our first time apart since I moved in here 14 months ago.

I intended to see him off and then go back to bed for an hour or so, since we were up late watching a movie (The Guardian, which was meh) and he was packing.

As soon as I locked the door behind him I went over to the front window to watch him drive off, then I went through the bathroom to go back to bed.  I noticed that the rugs looked awfully dirty and tried to mentally calculate the last time they were washed, and I couldn't.

I plucked them up and tossed them in the washing machine, then I was going to go back to bed.  Passing through the bathroom I noticed how much crap from the rugs was now on the floor.  The floor could use a good sweeping, so I swept it, then decided to mop it, too.

I couldn't go to bed with the floor wet since it required the bathroom doors to be shut and the kitty's litter and food and water dishes are in the bathroom, so I stayed up for a bit.  As soon as the floor was dry, the washer was done so I put the rugs in the dryer.  I stepped into the kitchen and noticed those rugs were dirty too.

So I plucked them up and tossed them in the washing machine.  Now the floor's filthy in there, too, so I swept and mopped it, then went into the bathroom to put everything back in it's place: kitty litter, hamper, food and water dishes, trash can.

Now the bathroom rugs are dry, but the kitchen floor is still wet and it's 8 a.m.  I was planning on getting up at 7:30, so no sense in going back to bed.  I decide to wait until the kitchen rugs are dry and then go to the gym.

I head over to the gym and I'm dismayed that the only person there is on MY treadmill, so I decide to use the other one - the one that asks for a maximum speed, then gets you up tp that speed as quickly as possible and leaves you there.  I hate that machine.

As I am starting up the treadmill-usurper finishes her workout, grabs her duffel and leave.  Yay!

After my workout I clean out the trunk of my car and run everything over to the trash compacter.  Then I come home and sit down with the pile of unread magazines I found in my trunk.

I can't wait anymore, so I take a shower.  I brush my teeth while the water heats up, then I jump into the shower and rinse my mouth under the shower head, only somehow I get water down the wrong pipe and suddenly I'm coughing, spluttering and choking.

I can't breathe, even though I know it's only water - I'm gasping for breath, trying to force air into my lungs.  What's actually happening is hyperventilation, all of this sucking for air is resulting in wheezing, coughing, but no relief.  I stumble out of the shower and onto the bathroom floor - thank God it's been mopped recently and the rugs are clean!

I finally manage to get back to normal breathing, but my skin is all prickly from the effort.  Mental note: need to buy an inhaler just in case.

It seems I can't be trusted alone for 6 hours, much less 6 days.

I'm A Quitter

I quit Weight Watchers yesterday.  I realized I was becoming obsessed with food and I was rebeling against the program, doing everything I shouldn't be doing.  I felt powerless and bad about myself.  Guilty for not going to weigh in.  Guilty for gaining at weigh in.  Guilty for not following the program to the letter.  I am constantly beating myself up about my inability to make this work for me.  I think WW is a great program that works, I'm just not mentally where I need to be in order to be successful with it.  I also think that while my leader is great, my group is enabling my food obsession.  I'm going to try to eat better and work harder on getting exercise into my life, instead of focusing on food.  Perhaps Overeaters Anonymous?  Perhaps some other diversion tactic.  Just no more paying $40 a month for another tool to use in berating myself.

The amazing thing is, I came home last night and made and ate dinner, and since then I haven't had one single snack.  Haven't even wanted one.  I generally snack a lot in the evening, so this is a step in the right direction. 

Novel in Progress

I'm writing.  And writing.  And writing.  I had an idea for a novel and started working on it in January and it was going no place, so I stopped.  Then a few days ago I had the idea that my two main characters needed a backstory, so I started writing it as a prologue, but it has taken on a life of its own.  My prologue is now two chapters, and I realized I just caught these characters at the end and the beginning is so beautiful and tragic and magical.  They wake me up at night, these people, with their arguments and their laughter.  I'm enjoying them so much and the writing just flows out of me.  I've never felt like this before about writing. 

Hi-ho, Hi ho...

Work is busy.  We've had 4 people resign in the last 10 days and it is really making life hard on those of us who continue to stick around.  Plus, one of the support staff has a (thankfully operable) cancerous tumor on her brain and so she'll be out for a while with surgery and recovery, etc.  We're being stressed to the limit.  I'm making a lot of sales right now which should cushion my sales goal for the year and give me time to help out where necessary.

Reading, too.

I've got a lot of magazines, plus two books I'm reading right now:

Hating Women: America's Hostile Campaign Against the Fairer Sex by Schmuley Boteach.  It's been fascinating and I'm sure I will revisit this topic in a blog sometime soon.

Get Between the Covers: Leave a Legacy By Writing a Book by Neil Shulman and Eric Spencer.  I just bought this and I'm looking forward to getting started on it, but between my emerging novel and the book above, it's still sitting unopened.

That's it for the updates.  How's things by you?

It's been a very long, very tough month, work wise.  It feels like one of those suspense movies... like that Julia Roberts one... Sleeping With the Enemy.

Remember how he was chasing her through the house with all the suspense and then she shoots him, and he's laying there on the ground and she starts crying and the camera starts to pan out and you're thinking it's then end?

Then suddenly he comes back to life, grabs her hair, holds the gun to her head and pulls the trigger, but he's out of bullets?

That's been my month.  I thought I had shot it dead, but it grabbed me by the hair, shoved a gun in my face and pulled the trigger.

No bullets.

I was relieved when I thought the month was done, though it didn't turn out the way I'd hoped.  Then there was a last gasp from one of my clients that ended in a whimper, and it is done.

On to March.

Irish and I got to spend Sunday afternoon doing something kind of fun and unusual: we judged an essay contest.

Our Mensa chapter (and I think all Mensa chapters, as well as the regional and national organizations) gives out scholarship money, and every year there is an essay contest.  We set aside $4,000 for scholarships to be given out, but only advised that there was a top prize of $1,000.

After judging the (only) 16 essays we received, we determined a top prize winner.  That winner scored 274 out of a possible 300 points.  The second place winner, with 260 points, will receive $500.  No other prizes were awarded since the pool of applicants was so small, and the depth of essays was so shallow.

Some notes to future essay contestants:

• Read the instructions carefully and follow them to the letter.  The second place finisher would have been closer in points to the first place finisher had he or she double spaced the essay.  The only reason the essay was even considered was because of the lack of entries.
• Proofread your copy.  Check for misspelled words and weird grammar choices.  Read it aloud, if you have to.  Errors become more apparent when spoken.
• Learn proper semicolon usage.  I cannot tell you the amount of people who would just randomly throw in a semicolon.  It was perplexing.
• After you proofread let someone else read it.  Not your grandma, or your little brother.  Choose a trusted friend with good grades in English, or a teacher or adviser.  This is imperative.
• Be sure to have a strong thesis statement.  Many of the essays we read were well written and grammatically correct, they just weren't clear in their statement.
• The opening is key.  Don't be cliche.  Really think about what you're writing.  One of the essays I judged started out "I have always believed that my future was very important."  Um, duh?  I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit when I read that.
• Enter! Enter! Enter!  Even if it's a small amount of money to the winner, every little bit helps.  The winner of our contest can do anything he or she wants with the money: buy books, pay tuition, have a big party, whatever.

It was fun.  The lady of the house where we judged the essays prepared an Italian feast and we all had a great time.  Plus, we gave out some cash to a couple of deserving students.

More like one of those weeks.  Coming into the office this morning I already had 38 hours on the books.  I'd love to leave early today but I've got a client coming in at 1:30 and then a meeting after that lasting until at least 3 p.m.

I have a couple of accounts that are equivalent to beating my head against the wall that has nails sticking out of it.  One is for the big boss, the head of our office.  He doesn't care what anyone says, I *will* get this done.  So I did.  Only the premium is unacceptable to the client.  I've spent three weeks pulling my hair over this goddamn thing and she says the premium is unacceptable so now I have to find someone else to quote it.

Um, hello, welcome to Florida.  If you've gotten a quote, you should consider yourself lucky.

THERE IS NO ONE ELSE.

Then there's a producer who is trying to get a building covered for his uncle, only his uncle doesn't want to give me any information to quote with.  Soo... that's going well.

Then we have our monthly awards thing today.  In my department I consistently have the most sales.  My January wasn't great, but I know I did better than anyone else.  I've been the top seller nearly every month since August.

So imagine my surprise when the award goes out to someone else in my department.  Even moreso when they announce her sales numbers.

I go back to my desk after and look at my commission report and I sold THREE TIMES as much as she did for the month of January.  Seems management wanted to spread around the award a little bit so they gave it to the runner up instead.

Nice.

I think I'll go stab myself in the eye with a fork now.

I alluded earlier on to the fact that I was having some ongoing health problems.  I had scheduled an appointment for Thursday to see the doctor, which seemed to me like a long time to wait.

Monday morning I was on my way out to meet a client when I decided to call the doctor and see if they had a cancellation in the near future.  I was told there was a cancellation right then if I could come right now.  I quickly called the client and rescheduled and went to the doctor.

Turns out the first doctor misdiagnosed the problem.  The treatment that was prescribed has only been making the problem worse.

I got a new diagnosis and a new form of treatment and after just two days I can already tell a marked difference.  Wow.

I've always had great luck with doctors.  My family doctor was my dad's college roommate, and after he left his general practice to focus on sports medicine, we ended up using a 9-9 clinic near our house where the doctor was wonderful.  I stumbled on a terrific doctor in New York, and ended up using a different doctor when I returned to Oklahoma and he was great, too.

So this misdiagnosis thing came as a surprise.  I've always had great trust in doctors, but I've learned my lesson and I will definitely be speaking up sooner if I think something is wrong.

Saturday, February 4, 2006.

The day before, I had gone to the airport and picked up Irish.  We spent the entire rest of the day and evening packing the U-Haul.  We then went to downtown Oklahoma City, to Bricktown, and had dinner at Mickey Mantle's and took a walk through the city.  It was a perfect night.

The next morning we continued to pack, and I wanted to get on the road early.  My friends had other plans.  They hijacked my car (which needed to be loaded on the trailer) and then a friend came by and offered to take me to breakfast.  Turns out there was a party waiting for me at the diner where we went for breakfast.  It was so sweet, I'm almost ready to cry just thinking about it.

We finally got on the road around noon, headed for Florida, and my new life.  I was having some sinus issues that turned into a full blown sickness over the course of the next three days.  My poor honey had to do almost all of the driving while I slept or blew my nose.

It was a good day.  It led to what has been a pretty amazing year.

Sunday, February 4, 2007.

Irish is now my husband.  He's out at his dad's replacing some siding.  He'll be home in a few hours and then we're going to meet my boss and her husband at a bowling alley for a Super Bowl party. 

GO BEARS!

The universe giveth and the universe taketh away.

I went back to the same old meeting this morning wherein I gained 1 lb.  I'm having some health issues at the moment and haven't been able to get in to see the doctor.  I finally got an appointment for this Thursday and once I discuss my issues with him I'm hoping he'll have an answer for me.

No, I'm not pregnant.

Anyway, there is this woman at my meeting that, for some reason, has become sort of a buddy to me.  We chat a bit at meetings and that's the extent of it.  Well, last Halloween my husband and I went with his brother to take our niece and nephew out trick or treating on the next street over from them.

As we approached one house, my nephew says "Bear lives here!"  Bear is this friend of his from school that he talks about all the time.  So we go up and ring the bell, and who should answer the door but my friend from the WW meetings.  She wasn't dressed up, but I was dressed as a witch so I was easily recognizable.

Ba-dum-bum.

*crickets chirping*

We told her we would stop back by at the end of the night and so we did, and we all sat in her back yard with her Halloween party crew and talked.  Then she was gone for a couple of months.  Then she started showing up at meetings and tells me that she was in Brazil.

Must be nice to be able to afford to go to Brazil for a month, right?

This morning I was getting out of the car for the meeting and so was she.  We started chatting and got into the weigh in line together and I don't know how the subject came up, but turns out she's a writer!  A real honest-to-God published writer.  She does freelance travel writing, thus the month long trips to Brazil, etc.

I told her I wanted to be a writer, and she's offered to help me so we exchanged e-mails.

Happy HAPPY dance!

It was a mixed bag, Saturday.

I'm used to getting up early and putzing around before going to weigh-in, but this Saturday I had to get Irish up, too.  He started teaching that class (which he enjoyed).

I went to weigh in, and I think I've mentioned this before but there is a Sonic being built right outside my meeting location.  Sonic is the major reason I need Weight Watchers in the first place, and the lack of Sonic is this area, while disheartening, has been helpful to me losing, well, anything at all.

The Sonic is getting pretty close to completion.  I think it opens in about a month.

So I get on the scale and the receptionist says "ok" and nothing else.  If you've ever done WW, you know that if the receptionist doesn't say anything, it usually means there is a gain.  I didn't want to ask.

She handed back my card and my pass and I stepped away before swallowing hard and peeking:  DOWN 0.2.  the lowest amount you can actually be down that will register on the scale, but what do I care?  I've been PMSing and drowning my sorrows in chocolate, so this is cause for celebration!

I got there early so I sat down in a different area than where I sit when I'm late.  I sit with a bunch of women that were there when I started and we all exchange tips and generally just chat until the meeting starts.  A few minutes later an older gentleman sits in the seats across from us, and he's eyeing me.

Now, I've seen him at the meetings before, and something niggles in my brain when I see him, like I know him but I'm not sure from where.  He doesn't wear a name tag and I forget by the end of the meeting to ask him if we know each other.

The thing about Florida is all of the old people.  The thing about old people is that unless these old people belong to you in some way, they all kind of look the same.

So he's eyeing me, right?  And it's obvious he thinks he knows me.  So I'm really actively trying to place him in my brain now, only it's not happening.

The meeting starts and it's about activity, and the conversation is lively and this guy continues to eye me throughout the meeting but I'm playing it cool.  About 10 minutes before the meeting ends, I've decided I'm going to go up and say to something to him after the meeting.  Then the leader asks a question, and he raises his hand to answer.

When he opens his mouth I instantly know who he is.

Stalker client.

A few months ago this man called with what sounded like a very viable opportunity in regard to his condominium association.  Since I take the new business calls I was the one who got him.

I was pretty green about condominium associations and the insurance availability, or lack thereof.  So I took his information, sent him an application, and then waited.

The next day I got a call from the property manager of said association informing me that this man was not on the board of directors and did not have authorization to be seeking alternative coverage for the association.  They had a quote, they had an agent and I needed to cease and desist pursuing coverage for them.

Yikes.

So I said ok, left a message for the "client" asking him to call, and then going on my merry way.  Lesson learned.

The day after, I'm about halfway through lunch when the receptionist comes into the kitchen and tells me the client is here to see me.  No appointment, no return phone call, he just shows up during lunch hour.  Mind you, this guy is retired.

So I take him and his wife into an interview room and he hands me a stack of papers, which I return to him and explain the situation.  Prior to receiving the phone call from the property manager. I had been looking at markets and wasn't having any luck anyway, so it was really just not going to happen.

He got very upset and promised he would get to the bottom of this.  He was going to get me a letter from someone on the board of directors authorizing him to make insurance decisions.  I figured it would never happen.

Well, he got the letter and the uproar that ensued was tremendous.  I told him that simply didn't help and that I was sorry but I couldn't help him.  He started calling every 10 minutes all day long and leaving long rambling messages.  If he called sometimes and I was on the phone, he would ring out to the receptionist and insist on holding until I was done.

I was calling the property manager and the board president begging for assistance.  Then the client started calling my boss and my boss's boss telling them I had lied to him and let him believe I could help them, that I could save the association a significant amount of money.  These were words that had never come out of my mouth.

It took over a month to get him to go away.

Now he goes to my WW meeting. 

As soon as I heard his voice I covered my name tag with my hair.  As soon as the meeting was over I scooted out of that storefront like I was on fire.

And then what does a PMSing, stressed out chick who was just confronted with her stalker client do next?  She goes to work.

Yup.  I put in four hours of OT.  I was the only one in the office and it was bliss.

Then I went home and took a nap.

Irish and I went to a birthday party last night that got busted up by the cops, and we got home at 1 a.m.

See?  Mixed bag.

I'm going to go whip up some breakfast.  Toodles.

As days go, Thursday was stressful.  An account I was working on required a finalization by today, Friday and I didn't get what I needed until late in the afternoon.  I e-mailed the client and then left for the day at almost 6 p.m.

I got home and I was just not happy, you know?  Just. Not. Happy.

We went off to bed and I lay in bed half the night crying.  Just crying.  Tired and frustrated and overwhelmed and exhausted and unable to sleep.

I got up this morning and pulled out my day planner to get looked at the date and wow!  has it really been 28 days already?

So I went to work and there was a message on my voicemail from the client, and an e-mail from the client, all from around 7 p.m. last night.  She was hoping I had a Blackberry.  I am soooooo never getting a Blackberry.

I called their house as instructed and she put her husband on, where he proceeded to read me the riot act about what I sent them the night before.

Here's the tricky part.  I have, thus far, been very careful about revealing what I do for a living.  I was trying to remember why, and I realized it was because before, my job was very industry-specific, but now I'm just a general practitioner of sorts.  So do I continue to hide what I do?

I guess not.

I do what might be considered one of the most difficult jobs in the state of Florida these days:  I sell insurance.  For one of the top 10 insurance brokerage firms in the country.

My department is small business, and I handle all of the new business marketing for my region,  That means every new business phone call, every walk-in and just about every client referral comes to me.

I don't know if you've heard, but there is an insurance crisis in Florida right now, in regard to property.  The most highly affected, after homeowners, are small business owners.  Most insurance premiums are increasing 100%, 200%, even 300% because of lack of property insurance availability.  To top it off, you might pay 300% more than you paid last year and get about half of the coverage you got last year.

Anyway, so this company is looking for coverage and I start calling them about it in October of last year, because I'm told that they renew today, 1/26/07, but their insurance company is nonrenewing them.  So I leave a message about once a week or so until the owner calls me back TWO WEEKS AGO and gives me the go ahead to start working on the account and completes the applications.

So I warn them things are going to get ugly.  They say ok.  I give them a price range.  They say ok.  I get them quotes, and the quotes are within that price range.

They do not say ok.

They are not happy.  They want everything revised, today, because they need coverage today.

So I work my ass off, beg some underwriters, stress until I'm about to throw up.

Did I mention I'm PMS'ing???

Because I am.

I finally get the last revision at 4:00 and the quote is in her e-mail at 4:10.  She calls a few minutes later and asks about the liability portion, why is it so high?  So we go over that and I explain to her for the millionth time that because of claims she is lucky they even got quotes.  99% of my insurance carriers laughed in my face when I presented it to them.  The two that did quote did so only after much pleading and faulty reasoning.

I left work at 5:30 with...guess what... No order.

And I won't get one, either.

When someone pushes and pushes, and then bitches and bitches, then spends the weekend without insurance, it's because they are suddenly calling every other agency in town looking for a better deal.  They'll get one, too.  With an inferior company that is teetering on the brink of bankruptcy and offers them a hell of a deal to keep the wolves from the door.

I'm closing the book on this one and it's frustrating because I spent the last two weeks fighting to get this done and I will get not a penny for my efforts.  Second large account this month that's slipped through my fingers.

Frustrating.

And PMS'ing.

So I vented at poor Irish on the way home.  When I got here we talked for a bit, then I sat down on the couch to read and ended up falling asleep for three hours.

I feel better now.

Off to find some chocolate.

Happy Friday.