4 posts tagged “writing”

I'm A Quitter

I quit Weight Watchers yesterday.  I realized I was becoming obsessed with food and I was rebeling against the program, doing everything I shouldn't be doing.  I felt powerless and bad about myself.  Guilty for not going to weigh in.  Guilty for gaining at weigh in.  Guilty for not following the program to the letter.  I am constantly beating myself up about my inability to make this work for me.  I think WW is a great program that works, I'm just not mentally where I need to be in order to be successful with it.  I also think that while my leader is great, my group is enabling my food obsession.  I'm going to try to eat better and work harder on getting exercise into my life, instead of focusing on food.  Perhaps Overeaters Anonymous?  Perhaps some other diversion tactic.  Just no more paying $40 a month for another tool to use in berating myself.

The amazing thing is, I came home last night and made and ate dinner, and since then I haven't had one single snack.  Haven't even wanted one.  I generally snack a lot in the evening, so this is a step in the right direction. 

Novel in Progress

I'm writing.  And writing.  And writing.  I had an idea for a novel and started working on it in January and it was going no place, so I stopped.  Then a few days ago I had the idea that my two main characters needed a backstory, so I started writing it as a prologue, but it has taken on a life of its own.  My prologue is now two chapters, and I realized I just caught these characters at the end and the beginning is so beautiful and tragic and magical.  They wake me up at night, these people, with their arguments and their laughter.  I'm enjoying them so much and the writing just flows out of me.  I've never felt like this before about writing. 

Hi-ho, Hi ho...

Work is busy.  We've had 4 people resign in the last 10 days and it is really making life hard on those of us who continue to stick around.  Plus, one of the support staff has a (thankfully operable) cancerous tumor on her brain and so she'll be out for a while with surgery and recovery, etc.  We're being stressed to the limit.  I'm making a lot of sales right now which should cushion my sales goal for the year and give me time to help out where necessary.

Reading, too.

I've got a lot of magazines, plus two books I'm reading right now:

Hating Women: America's Hostile Campaign Against the Fairer Sex by Schmuley Boteach.  It's been fascinating and I'm sure I will revisit this topic in a blog sometime soon.

Get Between the Covers: Leave a Legacy By Writing a Book by Neil Shulman and Eric Spencer.  I just bought this and I'm looking forward to getting started on it, but between my emerging novel and the book above, it's still sitting unopened.

That's it for the updates.  How's things by you?

What's your dream career? 
Submitted by Something.

Novelist, definitely.  Or freelance writer.  Or columnist.  Some sort of writing that pays the bills and I can work from home.

I've spent the last three days mostly doing things that make me feel better about myself.  Oddly, this included quite a bit of exercise.

As a result I feel as though I have at least a small handful of this slick, writhing thing called life.  Not much control, but better than nothing.

I have walked a few miles, and done some swimming.  I have pretty nails now, even if the color is already coming off my fingers.  It's ok because I'm not that crazy about it anyway.  My toes look amazing, though.

Here is the plan to reacquaint myself with sanity:

• Exercising at least 4 days a week
• Writing at least two days a week
• Watching less television
• Reading more
• Getting out of the apartment more

These are all doable goals.  The TV part is something I think has contributed greatly to my depression.  I have never been much of a TV watcher, but for some reason I have been spending a lot of time on the couch in front of the tube.  I am still going to DVR my favorite shows, but I'll be watching them when it suits me instead of when they come on.  I can spend that time taking care of myself and doing things I love.

I was planning on doing NaNoWriMo, but I'm not sure how realistic that is going to be.  I've spoken with several family members today (one of my younger brothers turned 30 today and I was coordinating phone calls) and everyone wants us to come to Mississippi for Thanksgiving so they can see me and meet my husband.  I've been wanting to go but I didn't know if it would be realistic.

We decided we're probably going to go.  Airfare is ridiculous, but we could drive it, even though the drive is around 12 hours.  We both love road trips and we travel well together, so we should be ok.  I reserved a car already.  The cost is about $200 less than flying.  While that means we'll spend roughly 24 hours on the road, we'll get to spend time alone together, which is worth it.

I have to go back to work tomorrow.  I'm not looking forward to it.   I like my job, and I like the people that I work with, but I feel very out of sorts recently about it.  I was promoted in August and I feel like I don't know enough to do the job.  Everyone says I'm doing terrific, but I feel like I am the biggest idiot.

I've decided to do a couple of things about this.  My job is in marketing, and it's important to know the markets and what I'm selling.  I'm going to take at least one hour every morning to learn something new or read something relevant, on the clock.  It's important to the job.

I'm also going to look into other types of jobs.  I enjoy training people and I think customer service is of the utmost importance.  I'm not sure there is anything fitting this description, but I can at least look, right?

In the meantime, I will also write.  If I could write full time and not have to go to an office I would be the happiest person alive.

Oh, and we're going to try to have a baby.  I need to stop being scared of it and just do it.  Here we go.

I forgot to mention another thing about Sunday that was good...

I finished not one, but two articles for the local Mensa newsletter.  I've been asked to do movie reviews.  I did one way back in May, but none since.  I finally did one for Little Miss Sunshine yesterday morning after my swim.

I also had been thinking for a week or two about an article relating to my profession.  I had written most of it longhand at work a couple of weeks ago, and had been carrying the scribbles in my dayplanner.  I got it all typed in and formatted, added a few last minute details (like a beginning and an end) and submitted it for review.

It feels good to write.  Writing is my ultimate goal.  I'd like to stay at home and homeschool my kids, and still be able to make the money I'm making now (or better yet - more) by freelance writing.  It is completely doable, I just need to do it.  The Mensa newsletter is a volunteer gig, but at least I have something published, which is a good first step.

The other good news is the Dallas Cowboys won last night.  It's not as sweet a victory as when the Sooners win, but it's a good step in the healing process from Saturday.

This week is jam-packed with activity, culminating in a plane trip on Saturday morning to finally see some of my family after 7 months, especially my nephew (who doubles as my Godson).  If I can't go back to Oklahoma, I'll settle for Texas.  The midwest calls to my heart in the fall. 

I was meant to be up this early to go swim.  I managed to get up, but the pool held no appeal.  This little blinking box did, though.  I'm working out my brain.  Do we get activity points for that?